Exhausted

You have no idea what is wrong with my life right now, I have started being paranoid and fear of what is going to happen next; everything in my life just seems so scary at this moment. I probably have nothing in mind, is just too hard for me to handle all this stress with the tiny strength i have right now. I just want the world to end now so that all the problems would stop coming to me. I am tired. Too tired. 

All I can do is just wait and try to make myself think positive in every way. People always say sweet stuffs can make people happy. So I tried and it actually does. And starbucks hot chocolate unintentionally became one of my daily drug, it just makes me feel better somehow.

 Breakfast with daddy one of those day. That is why I love my dad so much. 

Recently kinda addicted with this application in iphone, Instagram. You can edit your pictures as pretty as you want. 

To be happy is definitely not an easy task for me. I have been too tired of living in fear, worry, stress and suffer. No, I don't want my life to be like this. I just hate myself so much whenever tears naturally rolling down to the cheeks, I just wanna die. I always ask myself what did I do during the past of my life(s) that I have to be so tortured like this. I don't hate myself, but I hate my life. I want to stop all these shits. 

& trying to be happy is worse, nobody knows how pain you are inside your heart. 

I do not want to be happy anymore, and I don't expect someone to give me any happiness. But please give me a peaceful pill. I just want to stop the fear and worry I have in me right now. I just hope sweet stuffs can calm me down at this moment. I am just too blank to write anything here right now. Bye!